FEMME2010: No Restrictions

Community Accountability Approaches to Violence Against Femmes
Juliet November, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Sunday, 11:15 am – 12:30 pm

Come together to talk in a radically different way about how we can stop, prevent and heal from violence against us without relying on cops or prisons. The criminal legal system has never shown itself to be a friend to marginalized femmes, in particular those who are poor, of colour, trans, migrant or youth. So how can we find ways to deal with violence ourselves? In this skill share we're proposing understanding violence widely – that it's not just about physical violence – but that we look at the spectrum of violence we face: like domestic violence with our partners, social, spiritual, emotional and cultural violence of misogyny and state violence – and the intimate ways these intersect with other oppressions. This is a skill-share not a workshop because we are not interested in "teaching" so much as sharing the fierce wisdom of femmes about healing, transformation, resilience and prevention.

Juliet November is a white, queer, working-class, anti-racist and anti-capitalist sex worker, grassroots organizer, writer and fierce femme with a deep love for community resilience and the visioning beyond the prison industrial complex.

Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha is a Worcester raised, Toronto matured, Oakland-based queer Sri Lankan writer, performer and teacher. She is the 2009-10 Artist in Residence and part-time professor at UC Berkeley’s June Jordan’s Poetry for the People and the co-founder and co-artistic director of Mangos With Chili, North America’s only touring cabaret of queer and trans people of color performing artists. She is a 2009 commissioned performer with Sins Invalid, the national performance organization of queer people with disabilities and chronic illnesses. Her one woman show, Grown Woman Show, has toured nationally, including performances at the National Queer Arts Festival, Swarthmore College, Yale University, Reed College and McGill University. The author of Consensual Genocide, her writing has appeared in the anthologies Yes Means Yes, Visible: A Femmethology, Homelands, Colonize This, We Don’t Need Another Wave, Bitchfest, Without a Net, Dangerous Families, Brazen Femme, Femme and A Girl’s Guide to Taking Over The World. She is finishing her second book of poetry, Love Cake, and her first memoir, Dirty River and is happy about the forthcoming publication of The Revolution Starts At Home: Transforming Abuse Through Community Accountability, which she co-edited with Ching-In Chen and Jai Dulani, by South End Press in 2010. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Mills College, focusing on creative nonfiction and community-based teaching by writers of color.

Creating Women of Color Spaces: Ownership and Intentionality/The Color of Femme
Christine De La Rosa/Norma Sanchez, Amy Adams
Friday, 2:45pm-4:00pm

Christine De La Rosa is a Southern, techno-geek, queer, dyke, lesbian, Transplanted Tejana Femme living in The Bay Area. She is an entrepreneur with a twist of sass. Co-founder for one of the largest LGBT sites on the internet, she has been organizing for her community for over 14 years. She is one of the founding members of the Femme Collective and co-chair for the Femmes of Color Symposium 2010. She co-produces BLISS Weekend, a weekend for Women of Color in Palm Springs. She currently has a radio show on in the Bay Area on KPFA 94.1 called Real Talk with Kiki & Miz Chris focusing on Women of Color issues. She works for a major telephone company by day and by night she co-founded Movement Productions which produces major events throughout the US. This year she had the very distinct honor of producing, along with a collective of amazing promoters, EDEN-All Women, All Weekend SF Pride 2010 Weekend. She devotes much of her “free” time to promoting awareness of the LGBT community. She enjoys reading, listening to her iPod and karaoke under the right circumstances.

Mz. Amy Adams is a community activist and lover of women, trying to enhance the lives of women and family with love & positivity. With the mission of creating harmonious communities for women by women, she also finds love rockin the mic. She spits poems with ferocious diva attitude. Performing around the Bay Area and beyond for the past 7 years. SheSpeaks, Eclectic, Love Jones, Coochielicious, LIP, Butta, 2007 APIWTC 20th annual Lunar Banquet, Dorsey’s Locker, FRESH, Winner of 2008 Talent Show , 2009 SF Pride Women’s Stage, and has acted in the Fourth Annual DykeDrama Festival, Dangerous Curves: “The Femme Show” , and several other plays with the Lunasea Theater. Mz. Amy was also the organizer for the 2004 Oakland Poetry Slam, Organizer for the 2006 Shespeaks fundraiser for Sistahs Steppin In Pride. 2008 organizer for the MO’ Butta Weekend, 2008 Volunteer Coordinator for the Soul of Pride Stage @SF Pride, 2008 Coordinator for the Butch-Femme Bash, 2009 Volunteer Coordinator for the SF Pride Women’s Stage. She has also been serving drinks at the hottest clubs in the bay!! Bench & Bar, Sweet’s Ballroom, Oasis, Club Six.

Told for too long she wasn’t gay enough, brown enough, active enough, or good enough, Norma Elena Sanchez exemplifies the healing required to survive sexism, internalized homophobia and racism. She’s emerged with a focus on the heart and stubbornly insisting she’s as normal as the girl next door. She mentors other young women with this same process, is a successful businesswoman in the Bay Area and ain’t afraid to admit she may very well be the biggest pervert in the room. She embraces this sisterhood for the visibility it gives her and the camaraderie in all things queer, femme, moral and naughty.

Diva Drumming & Dance 101: Tapping Into Your Femme Flow
Raw Vibrations (Nahi Brewer, Monica Anderson)
Saturday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am

The African Djembe drum's shape gives honor to the Feminine Divine. Participants will experience being a part of a drumming and dance circle. They will gain confidence by tapping into the essence of the elements: water (rhythm & flow); fire (drumming passion); air (breathwork); earth (mind-body-spirit connection through dance). Leaders will provide West African djembes, hand drums and other percussion instruments for participant use during the workshop. The materials include a copy of breath work techniques. Rhythm is innately feminine. Connect to your primal sensual power and access your own personal vibration. Feel the flow and access universal energy as your feminine divine vibrates through your body in harmony with the drum.

Dress and Express: Exploring Body Image and Self-expression Through Fashion
Sarah Astarte
Sunday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
Body image is a major issue among contemporary feminists, as it affects all women in this country. How one sees and carries one's body has much to do with one's self-image. Fashion is a form of creative expression that can be utilized to express and even transform one's self-image. This workshop will involve dressing up; clothing, cosmetics, and accessories will be provided for participants to dress however they choose to. A discussion will follow the activity about what their outfit(s) express, how one feels about themselves before and after changing outfits, and how it affects their self-image, intellectually and emotionally. Gender identity, race/ethnicity, and economic issues may come up around manner of dress as well.

Sarah is a native Californian, and is the oldest of four children. Sarah attended University of California, Santa Cruz, where she received her Bachelor of the Arts degree in Psychology. She went on to the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology where she received a Masters in Psychology, and her Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology. Her research is on body-image in adult females, Jungian psychology, and the Lover archetype. Sarah is certified in creative expression and is a licensed minister, being an initiated shamanic healer and priestess in neo-pagan traditions. Sarah has also been an activist in peace and diversity. She has been active as a member for organizations for women, such as the Center for the Divine Feminine, Dhaturra, and the Chapel of the Divine Mother. She is currently doing her residency as a chaplain at Stanford Hospital and has a private practice as a spiritual guide.

Embodying Dialogue: A Creative Exploration of Femme
Heather M. Acs
Friday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am
This workshop offers an alternative to traditional discussion groups by encouraging participants to get on their feet and explore issues surrounding “femme” through interactive exercises and group activities. Using theatre, improvisation, movement, and writing as tools to explore issues and incite dialogue, the facilitator will guide a creative “conversation” and exploration of topics on “femme” chosen by the group. No performance experience necessary.

Heather M. Ács is a Brooklyn-based multi-media, theatre performance artist, activist, and educator. She creates nonlinear worlds layered with movement, soundscape, video, and storytelling, refracted through working class Appalachian and Mexican cultural imagery. Her gritty, glittery work has been called “performance art that pushes boundaries without pushing the audience away” (Portland Phoenix) and featured at theatres, galleries, festivals, college/universities and conferences across the U.S., Canada, and Europe. Heather is also a dedicated teaching artist, using theatre as a tool for social change with low-income youth in cities throughout the United States. Website: www.heatheracs.com

Enabling What?- Femmes talk about Disability, Gender and Sexuality: poetry, and conversation with members of Fabled Asp (Fabulous/Activist Bay Area Lesbians with Disabilities: A Storytelling Project.
Dr. Laura Rifkin and Dominika Bednarska
Saturday 10:30am-11:45am

How do ideas about ability and disability affect us as femmes? What is it like being partners with femmes with disabilities? How do changes in our bodies impact how we see ourselves as sexual beings? Issues ranging from high heel envy, to "how to get into the dance" when you use a wheelchair or a cane, and everything im-between. This will be a personal conversation where we get to the nitty gritty questions about being femme, claiming our sexuality, the challenges we face, and the successes we have as femmes who are differently abled than the norm.

People of all abilities encouraged to attend!

Laura Rifkin, Ph.D., femme, is the creative catalyst/midwife of "Fabled Asp"- Fabulous/Activist Bay Area Lesbians with Disabilities: A Storytelling Project www.fabledasp.com Her recent writing and art has been published in the open issue of Sinister Wisdom, featured in the short film SIX and displayed at CHRONOTOPIA: The Past, Present and Future of Queer Histories as part of Lineage ll: Matchmaking in the Archives . She has been creatively living with a disability for over 30 years and has been actively exploring butch/femme identities and

chemistry for longer than that! Laura spearheaded the movement to have 2010 named as The Year for Honoring Lesbians with Disabilities. Dominika Bednarska is a doctoral student in English and Disability Studies and a queer disabled femme. Her writing has appeared in The Bellevue Literary Review, Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity, What I Want From You: An Anthology of East Bay Lesbian Poets, Niet Normaal: Difference On Display, and Cripping Femme. Her solo show entitled My Body Love Story was developed as part of the AIRspace residency program and was performed as part of the National Queer Arts Festival this past June. It is also cosponsored by FabledASP. Using humor, monologues and dance, My Body Love Story chronicles one of the most important relationships that we have: the one with our own body.

Fairies, Dandies and Fancy Boys: Variations on Femme
Mason Munson, Aster Wolfe
Saturday, 4:15 pm – 5:30 pm
Explore femme-identified masculine folks and our roles in the femme community.

Aster Wolfe and Mason Munson have been collaborators in fanciful distraction for many years. Co-producers and performers with Portland based boy-lesque troupe Beefcake Burlesque; they both thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to address gender normative views, masculine icons and inter-species interactions both of and on the stage. Aster has recently relocated to Oakland to dwell in an intentional creative space and Mason is delighted to cross a few state and identity lines to come for a visit at Femme 2010!

FEMBODY Flash Mob Movement Workshop
Amelia Mae Paradise
Friday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am
A space where Femmes can come together and move in an invigorating, sassy, healthy, sparkly, way. Start your day with Amelia Mae Paradise who will lead a class with a yoga-type warm-up/cool-down and saucy jazz-type movement section featuring short choreographic phrases and opportunities for participants to connect with their sensual and powerful bodies. Come learn the moves and have the chance to join our spontaneous Femme flash mob!

Amelia Mae Paradise, Bearded Queen of the Femme Follies, is founder/artistic director of Diamond Daggers burlesque company, an illustrious brood of vigilante vaudevillian teasers and the Bay Area's longest running queer burlesque cabaret. With Diamond Daggers, Amelia has headlined across Europe from Helsinki to Berlin and Amsterdam to Zurich. With a degree in American Studies/Flamenco, this sultry New Mexico native knows how to perform and teach with unbridled fiery passion and technique alike. You can dance with her at Amelia Mae Paradise's Bawdy Body Dance Workshop Series in Oakland & San Francisco. Her teaching approach is based in feminist reclamation of the sensual body, historical context of fringe theatre, extensive choreography and technique training, and the transformative power of comedy! Amelia also serves on the core-committee of Sistahs Steppin’ In Pride: The East Bay Dyke March & Festival, whose purpose is to nurture intergenerational and multi-cultural bridges and create a safe, sacred, and creative space to honor our Herstory. With her wife, Sarah Paradise aka Sir Loin Strip, she is one half of The Bearded Ladies on Parade!, a story-telling, singing, dancing, wisecracking act that draws on the languages of Drag, Burlesque, and Husband/Wife comedy teams. Amelia Mae & Sarah Paradise live in Oakland with their two dogs, Uncle Lewis and Frances and their two kitties Sadie and Mellie.

Femme Kings: Performing Maleness Onstage
Leslie Einhorn, Jay Walker, Brock Cocker, Charleston Chu
Saturday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
What does it mean to be a drag king who identifies as femme? This group of panelists will discuss their artistic journeys and their motivations to perform maleness. Among the topics examined will be intersections of femme-ness and stage persona, socio-cultural influences, and performance themes. There will be time set aside for Q&A. This is a special opportunity to hear femmes speak about ‘kinging’ as a form of creative, personal, and political expression.

Leslie Einhorn is a writer, performer and teacher who moonlights as drag king Arty Fishal. Arty was crowned SF Drag King '98. In his heyday Arty could be seen gracing many a bay area cabaret stage and scaring the midwesterners on various daytime television programs. Arty is now mostly in retirement- his swan song featured a gyrating eight months pregnant belly. Leslie Einhorn is the director of CASA (Children's After School Arts).

Jay Walker choreographed the majority of his fag-drag repertoire while lip-synching to Prince and Wham! at slumber parties. A devoted CHUBB chaser and life-long connoisseur of bedazzled man-thongs, Jay Walker also enjoys eyeliner, hip thrusts, and people who are really smart.

Butch. Queen. This is Brock Cocker. A mixture of glitter and sequins courses through his veins. In 2000, Brock arrived from Detroit (The Motor City) on gossamer wings. Since 2006, he has performed in a variety of shows including Psychedelick Eye, Femme2006, Kentucky Fried Woman’s monthly cabaret, Flabulous!, and Flabulous 2! Brock has previously performed as faux queen Eartha Klittt and under the pseudonym Gus D. Windy. (Photo: surfsmithphotography)

Charleston Chu is a genderqueer, genderfluid femme of Chinese American descent who lives in San Francisco, CA. Charleston is fussy yet sensitive drag king/queen, burlesque artist, dancer, and musician who has performed with The Bromantics, Mangoes With Chili, Model Minority Revolt, Butch Tap, The Transformers, The Fly Guys, Eye Candy, Freeplay Dance Crew, and Hogwarts Express: The Musical and in such venues as the International Drag King Extravaganza, Freak Show A Go Go, Brooklyn Pride, SF Pride, Fresh Meat, Kaleidoscope Cabaret, Rally the Troupes, and APAture. On stage, Charleston strives to bring together progressive yet playful political consciousness, a celebration of genderfucking, manfidence, femmefidence, fierce technical dance choreography, and a love for all things sparkly and fabulous. Charleston's alter ego is a clinical psychologist and has written about genderqueer and femme identities in Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity and Visible: A Femmethology. (Photo: Justin Beck)

Femme Mamas
Celestina Pearl, Dana Rosenberg, Annie Schuessler, Sara Lesser, Kathy Brady
Friday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am
A panel of queer femme mothers, exploring issues of family, parenting and identity. Followed by Q&A and open discussion.

Celestina Pearl is a Chicana Femme Dyke, performance and visual artist, poet, bruja and queer Mama. She's performed sola, with the Fierce Pussy Posse Cabaret Theatre Company, 3 years of Liquid Fire, in many shows at Lunasea Women's Theatre, Debauchery LiveDykeSexTheatre, "Wet" an erotic cabaret by Lesbians of Color, Fairy Butch, and Cabaret de Nude. She starred in "Voluptuous Vixens" and "Please Don't Stop" two erotic movies produced by Good Vibrations. She made a movie about her Nana called "Las Mañanitas", which showed at QWOCMAP Film Fest and Frameline Int'l LGBT Film Fest. She appears in the book Femmes of Power by Del LaGrace Volcano and Ulrika Dahl. Most recently she is raising her beautiful daughter Esperanza Lola and making a movie about creating queer family called "Queer Spawning.”

Dana Rosenberg is a queer, Jewish, femme health teacher and school counselor, who has been promoting feminism and positive sexuality to youth for the last fifteen years in the Bay Area. She is a big mama of a sassy-pants eight and a half year old boy, who keeps her busy, and laughing. Dana is a proud Oakland native and has no reason to take up residence anywhere else.

Annie Schuessler is a couples therapist in private practice in San Francisco. She specializes in helping couples stuck in arguing and other painful patterns. She is a queer femme Mama of 2 young ones, an infant and a 7 year old.

Sara Lesser is a queer femme parent of 2 cuties. She and her butch partner co-parent with 2 gay men. She is a psychotherapist working with individuals and couples in Oakland.

Kathy Brady is a queer femme parent of two girls, a toddler and a tween. She and her family currently live and work in Oakland.

Femmes and Aging
SJ Kahn and Jewelle Gomez
Saturday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am

Join our discussion about issues related to aging. We will make a short presentation and invite you gals to share and we can all talk together cuz we know that no one (or two) of us knows more than all of us.

Jewelle Gomez is the author of seven books including the double Lambda Literary Award-winning novel, THE GILDA STORIES. She was on the founding boards of GLAAD and the Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice and taught one of the first lesbian studies courses in the country at Hunter College (New York City) in 1985. She was on the board of the early Lesbian/Feminist journal, CONDITIONS and her writing has appeared in numerous other early queer periodicals such as “On our Backs,” “Girlfriends,” “The Advocate,” “Daneuve,” “13th Moon,” “IKON,” “Lambda Book Report,” “Aché,” “Harvard Lesbian & Gay Review,” “OUTLOOK,” “Hot Wire,” “Bay Windows,” most of which don’t exist any longer. Her forthcoming novel is entitled TELEVISED and she’s finishing a play about James Baldwin. She currently serves as the President of the SFPL Commission.

SJ Kahn is a lesbian psychotherapist in the SF/Bay Area who has practiced extensively in the LGBTI community for the past 20 years. She works with couples and individuals as well as providing professional consultation. Her work is relational, empathic, collaborative and grounded in the larger social/cultural context. She is on the faculty of the Women’s Therapy Center where she supervises interns and provides professional development groups.

Film Panel
Saturday 4:15 pm- 5:30 pm

How does it feel to have your gender identity included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders? Find out when the fierce and fabulous women of the new documentary film “Diagnosing Difference” join queer femme director Annalise Ophelian for a panel discussion about the medicalization of transgender identities.

Film Panel
Sunday 11:15 am-12:30 pm

The Money is Out There for the Femme Revolution: Grassroots Fundraising for Work and Play
Dara Silverman
Saturday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
For all of us who are working to build queer and radical community, one of the biggest skills we need is fundraising. This workshop will teach you the basics of grassroots fundraising, how to make a plan, get over your fear of making the ask and strengthen your community in the process.

Dara Silverman is a consultant, organizer and trainer who has worked to build movements for economic, racial and gender justice over the past 15 years. She works with small and mid-sized groups to build their organizing skills, fundraising and organizational capacity. Dara is the former Executive Director of Jews for Racial and Economic Justice (JFREJ). Her work has been published or featured in the New York Times, Tikkun, Zeek, Heeb, Curve, the San Francisco Bay Guardian and Righteous Indignation: A Jewish Call for Justice and co-authored The Love and Justice in Times of War Haggadah. She splits her time between consulting, farming, and teaching yoga. For more information: http://www.infovisions.org/rise.

How Fat Women of Color Queer Femme
Patricia Valladolid, Virgie Tovar
Saturday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
A workshop where participants can examine how sexuality and space is both ignored and erased for fat women of color.

Patricia Valladolid is a first year Master’s student at San Francisco State University in the College of Ethnic Studies her focus is gender and sexuality. As a self-described plus-sized Chicana, Patricia focuses her research on issues of body, gender, space and sexuality. Her research interests include representations of Fat women of color in the media, third world feminism, third space history, Chicana bodies as a location of intersectionality, and Chicana Lesbian Literature. Last year as a senior at UCLA, Patricia had the privilege of writing for the UCLA Women’s Studies Newsletter on the work of Laura Aguilar, an obese, Chicana, Lesbian photographer. She used her back ground in Women of Color Feminism to asses how Laura Aguilar’s work represents marginalized communities (i.e. fat bodies). After researching the work of Laura Aguilar, Patricia became more passionate about pursuing work that focuses on issues that affect Fat women of color. As a scholar activist, Patricia’s choice in pursuing research that is community based and relevant to issues of social justice is a personal priority. This commitment to her community has carried over on to her involvement in M.E.Ch.A, and MALCS. Patricia’s future plans are to complete her Masters degree in Ethnic Studies with a thesis on the reclaiming the experiences of Fat Chicanas and other Latinas and move on to a doctoral program.

Virgie Tovar is a sex educator, author and fat activist. Her first book, Destination DD: Adventures of a Breast Fetishist with 40DDs (2007) earned her the title of Best Sex Writer 2008 in the San Francisco Bay Guardian. She began her career as an activist while teaching a women’s sexuality course at her alma mater, UC Berkeley, where she also directed and produced Irreverence Is Our Right: Monologues by Women of Color. Spotted as new talent by CBS radio, she became the host of The Virgie Show, a show on sex and relationships on 106.9FM. She was later certified as a sex educator through San Francisco Sex Information. She has been interviewed by Playboy Radio and Women’s Entertainment Television, and is pursuing her Masters degree in Human Sexuality Studies at San Francisco State University. Her thesis is entitled "How Fat Women Queer the Feminine." You can find her online at www.virgietovar.weebly.com.

How-To for Entrepreneurial Femmes
Spring Opara
Saturday, 4:15 pm – 5:30 pm
Description TBD.

Spring Opara is the President of Blac Gurlz Ink – www.blacgurlzink.com, a greeting card business that specializes in creating premium greeting cards for the LGBTQ community and is a graduate of the Women’s Initiative, Simple Steps to Success business program. She also holds a BS degree in Political Science from the University of California, Berkeley. Spring served 5+ years in the US Air Force and is a published, lesbian of color, writer of erotic fiction. Her short story, Sex and Chocolate, was published in the, Ultimate Lesbian Erotica 2005, an anthology produced by Alyson Publishing, Los Angeles. Spring is happily single and LIVING LIFE with her extended Tribe and her feline-familiar, Peejo, in beautiful Oakland, California.

Intersections of Working Class and Femme
Melissa Koch, Meghan Pergrem
Friday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am
Description TBD

Meghan Pergrem is a 24 year old queer organizer, and community educator. She currently works for the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) as a Program Assistant for their Drop- In Program and Co- organizes their Peer Advocate Project, a collective for LGBTQA youth of color engaging in popular education and leadership skills. Upon completing her degree in Gender, Sex, and Sexuality at Antioch College in Ohio, Meghan served as the Community Manager of Non-Stop Liberal Arts, before moving to Chicago to engage in youth organizing through After School Matters, Affinity Community Services, and the BYC. Her work centers around Rape Culture awareness, sexual wellness, and gender identity. Meghan was recently awarded the 30 under 30 Award by Chicago’s queer newspaper, The Windy City Times, for her contributions to the dialogue of sexual wellness in the LGBT youth community.

Melissa Koch is a Midwestern, working-class, femme, multi-disciplinary media-artist who has directed narrative short films and has worked in documentary video, photography, and radio. Her feature-length documentary directorial debut, The Red Tail, premiered at the 2009 Galway Film Fleadh and has been touring festivals internationally for the past year. Melissa has a BA in Cultural Studies, Media Arts, and Social Justice from the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities and is a new graduate student in the Social Documentation program at the University of California, Santa Cruz. She has worked with queer, community & arts organizations for the past 12 years including the genderBLUR collective, Femme Mafia Twin Cities, District 202, SMYRC, Youth Farm and Market Project, and In the Heart of the Beast Puppet and Mask Theatre where she served as the Community Programs Director from 2004 – 2010.

Legally Femme – A Queer Guide to the Legal System
Alana Chazan
Friday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am
LGBTQ people face a complex and confusing web of laws, lack of legal resources, and a reasonable apprehension of an often unjust judicial system. This workshop seeks to make the legal system more accessible to the queer community and raise awareness of how to make the system work for you and not against you. Issues addressed include knowing your legal rights in order to protect your relationships within and outside of the realms of domestic partnerships/marriage; custodial rights and parenting agreements, including those for multi-parent and/or polyamorous families; and legal resources and options for survivors of domestic violence.

Alana Chazan is a queer femme radical legal activist and Equal Justice Works Fellow with Bay Area Legal Aid where she works as an advocate for the family law legal needs of low-income LGBT clients in San Francisco and Alameda counties. She is a 2009 graduate of the City University of New York School of Law, and her writings on sexuality and the law have been published in the Texas Journal of Women and the Law and in the New York City Law Review. Her previous work experience includes law clerkships at such organizations as the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, the Sex Workers Project, and the San Francisco City and County Human Rights Commission, as well as being a former sex educator with Babeland.

May I Kiss You?: Sexual Communication & Consent
Dulce Garcia
Friday, 1:15pm-2:30pm
Calling all LOVERS! In theme with this year’s conference of NO RESTRICTIONS, come learn how to communicate with your partner(s) about what you like, how you like it, and where you like it! In this interactive workshop, we will discuss and practice how to identify, ask for, and negotiate the kind of sex/intimacy you want. Consent is sexy, baby!

Dulce is a fierce Queer Xicana Femme born in Mexico City and raised in East Los Angeles who has evolved from a high risk youth to an outspoken community activist and organizer. Blending her book smarts with her street smarts, she has passionately served underrepresented and undeserved communities since the age of 19, while never forgetting her roots. As a sexual health educator she advocates for self-empowerment though education that is fun, non-judgmental, and accessible to her audience regardless of their age, gender, sexual orientation, race or ability status. When not talking about sexual communication and consent you can find her at your nearest San Francisco dance floor... she'll be the lady with the hot red lipstick and matching heels dancing Salsa!

Minding the Cleavage: A Cross Generational Dialog
Keiko Lane, SJ Kahn
Sunday, 11:15 am – 12:30 pm
How do you articulate femme? What signifiers do you use to mark your territory in the world and in your relationships? What have the femmes who came before you taught you about being a femme? What will be your gift to the next generation? In a paradoxical culture where old queers are neglected by youth centric politics, and simultaneously youthfulness is fetishized while young queers are abandoned, how do femmes stay committed to one another’s visibility and viability across generational divides? How do differences of race, class, spiritual practice, and community affiliation impact the construction of our femme identities? How important is it to maintain a cohesive sense of history as a community? And, with the increasing complexity, fluidity, and queering of genders, how do we hold onto and adapt our femme histories and identities? Join us for a facilitated conversation about femme identity and experience through our lives and across generations. We welcome butches, allies — and femmes.

Keiko Lane is a psychotherapist in Berkeley, CA, where she specializes in psychotherapy with gender radicals, postcolonial activists, queer parents, students and artists (www.keikolanemft.com). A longtime survivor of ACT UP and Queer Nation, she has been a queer and mixed-race activist in social justice, international solidarity and inter-community dialog issues for 20 years. Keiko, who is a published poet, essayist and academic, also teaches graduate queer and multicultural psychologies, and the embodied literature of exile. She frequently lectures on the psychodynamics of queer activisms. Keiko is adjunct faculty in the Somatic Psychology Department at the California Institute of Integral Studies, and a clinical supervisor at the Center for Somatic Psychotherapy. "

SJ Kahn is a lesbian psychotherapist in the SF/Bay Area who has practiced extensively in the LGBTI community for the past 20 years. She works with couples and individuals as well as providing professional consultation. Her work is relational, empathic, collaborative and grounded in the larger social/cultural context. She is on the faculty of the Women’s Therapy Center where she supervises interns and provides professional development groups.

My Kind of Crazy
Tasha Fierce
Friday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am
Femmes confront the stigma and stereotypes at the intersections of queer femininity, mental illness, & other marginalized identities.

Tasha Fierce is a thirtysomething freelance writer, social justice blogger, and avid consumer of Twinkies. A raging Aries, she spends most of her time writing and building her burgeoning media empire, although she is occasionally interrupted by a part-time job. She’s written about race politics, fat acceptance, mental illness, disability and feminism in several zines, including Evolution of a Race Riot and the zine she edited from 1998-2001, Bitchcore. She has contributed to the feminist blog Jezebel, the fat acceptance blog Shapely Prose, the race & pop culture blog Racialicious and the feminist disability activism blog FWD/Forward. Her work has also been featured in The Huffington Post. Her personal blog, Red Vinyl Shoes, can be found at http://redvinylshoes.com. You can add her on Twitter @redvinylshoes.

Non-Violent Communication
Bettina Stuecher
Friday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am
This workshop includes discussion, exercises, and small group work as a method of gaining insight into the interpersonal communication process and ways that non-violent communication (NVC) can further authentic connection between partners. NVC, as described by the NVC Center for Non-Violence is “[an] approach to communication that emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. The process of NVC encourages us to focus on what we and others are observing separate from our interpretations and judgments, to connect our thoughts and feelings to underlying human needs/values (e.g. protection, support, love), and to be clear about what we would like towards meeting those needs.”

Bettina Stuecher has long been involved in the non-violent communication (NVC) community and has worked as a community workshop facilitator and organizational consultant for some years. Training for licensure as a therapist with a focus on LGBTQ couples, she makes her home in Minneapolis, MN.

Our Power Is Larger Than Our Size: Making Visible Queer Femme Disordered Eating
Marisa Hackett, Jessica McPherson
Friday, 2:45pm-4:00pm

Participatory art workshop for femmes to explore the ways in which we access space, and the issue of space as it pertains to food and eating behaviors.

Marisa Hackett is a queer bi femme who sometimes uses the phrase ‘boyscout femme’ to describe her ability to always carry rain friendly shoes. Originally from and currently living in Seattle where she is learning to be a social worker and doula, she hopes to someday have a dream job that involves deconstructing the heteropatriarchy and babies. A disciple of Lady Gaga, she channels her ballerina experience into starting spontaneous dance parties and can be found planning queer mixers, femme organizing and creating original pieces of clothing in her spare time.

Jessica McPherson is a fierce, word-spattering, pole dancing, glitter-twirling, feminist-theory-obsessed femme from Littleton, Colorado, currently residing in Seattle, Washington. She is a Graduate Assistant at Seattle University working on her Master’s in Education. She is committed to challenging patriarchy with protest, pole dancing and an anti-capitalistic analysis of feminine expression and glamour. Her social justice work includes, but is not limited to, feminist justice, challenging heteronormative culture, eating disorder awareness in queer spaces, and trans activism.

Pastie Making
Vagina Jenkins
Saturday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am
This international Queen of Queer Burlesque shows you some tried and true methods for making a tip top decorative nipple cover. From basic designs and everyday materials to tasseled pasties, to more advanced designs; Vag can teach you how to make your titties festive and fun for any occasion!

Not only is The Lady Ms. Vagina Jenkins an international Queen of Queer Burlesque, she is also a woman-about-town, and friend to impressionable butches everywhere. When she's not wowing audiences with her unique brand of neo-burlesque, Vag selflessly provides succor and warmth to butches across the globe. Give until it hurts (after you've obtained informed consent), that's what Ms. Jenkins believes in! For more information on Vagina Jenkins' burlesque or her No Butch Left Behind program, please check www.VaginaJenkins.com.

PolyFemmory: Living, Loving, and Fucking as Poly and Femme
Amanda Harris, Rachel Schiff
Friday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am
For those of us living, loving, and fucking as poly and femme, we know that this distinct intersection of identity equally challenges and empowers us. Answering both self-imposed and outside questions regarding our sexual freedom and gender roles can spark daily inquisitions into self-discovery – and often self-doubt. This interactive workshop will take on these tough questions, guiding us as a poly-femme community in exploring non-monogamy as an extension of feminism and femme sexual agency, communication patterns in poly situations, and how our genders and partners’ genders impact, inform, and transform our relationships. Our loyal friend, “Jealousy” (who we love to hate and hate to love!) will be front and center, as we spotlight its effects on our passionate pursuits of good loves and good fucks. The session will be largely participant-driven, so bring all your baggage (don’t worry, it doesn’t have to match!), and let’s talk polyfemmory! While this workshop is primarily for polyamorous and non-monogamous femmes, polycurious folks and allies are welcome.

Positively Lovely
Lady Monster
Saturday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am
A workshop about loving our bodies, releasing judgments and falling in love with them.
Let's have a positive discussion in the round about loving every inch of your body, how we fell in love with our bodies, what each of us does to spread the love, and how we can love them more. Includes visualization exercises, discussion and creating community. All body sizes and genders welcome.

Lady Monster began dancing burlesque with Heather MacAllister's Fat-Bottom Revue, and before you knew it, she was modeling for Leonard Nimoy and his book, The Full Body Project. Since then, she has become his spokesmodel for the book, appearing on EXTRA TV and The Insider with Mr. Nimoy, and
speaking/performing at his Full Body Symposium. She travels around the world as a burlesque performer, is one of the world's best fire tassel twirlers and hosts the San Francisco franchise of Naked Girls Reading.

Queer Femme Porn Panel
Courtney Trouble/Dylan Ryan
Saturday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am
Description TBD

Dylan Ryan is a porn star and grad student currently living in Toronto, Canada. A proud member of the queer porn revolution, Dylan is finishing up her Masters in Social Work where she wrote her thesis as an autoethnographic response to feminist critiques of porn. An avid supporter of sex workers, Dylan believes that sex work can be a safe, viable and empowering option for femmes.

SF Bay Guardian calls her “the final word when it comes to smut with attitude, character, and soul.” You can just call her Trouble. Courtney Trouble is a Queer Porn Icon, known for her award-winning porn site NoFauxxx.Com, her stunning photographs, and most recently her AVN-nominated and Feminist Porn Award winning films including Speakeasy, the Roulette series, the Seven Minutes in Heaven series, Bordello, Nostalgia, and Billy Castro Does the Mission. She’s an expert when it comes to creating high-impact, creative, gritty, and raw pornographic portraits on little to no budget, and also performs porn, makes music, writes books, and designs websites. Websites: CourtneyTrouble.Com, NoFauxxx.Com

Quit Fucking Taking Us For Granted: How to Survive the Movement as a Femme
Savannah Kilner, Lisa Marie, Damien Luxe, Fatima Arain, Blyth Barnow, Morgan Bassichis, Kai Barrow
Friday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
Though femme organizers and activists have historically carried social movements, we often find ourselves to be one of a handful of femmes in our activist communities. Femmephobia and invisibility within our movements impact our spirits and psyches and limits the capacity of all of us to vision a more liberated world. We see the femme conference as an opportunity to bring femme organizers and activists together to examine the ways we can learn from each others experiences, strategies for resistance and survival, as well as create fierce femmeships with other movement femmes. This panel of femme organizers and activists will celebrate and explore the libratory potential of femme organizing strategies as well as the challenges of organizing in masculinist, femmephobic organizing spaces, queer and otherwise. We will also explore how our many femme experiences are mediated by race, class, gender, age, geography, etc.

Savannah is a 23 year old white queer/femme who grew up in the Bay Area and organizes against policing in Oakland and beyond. Her politics are guided by women of color feminism and grounded in prison abolitionism. She believes that we all have a stake in each other’s liberation.

Lisa Marie is a 29 year old queer Chicana femme currently based in the Bay Area. Lisa Marie has been an anti-PIC, homeless rights, and youth organizer for the better part of 10 years and currently works as the National Campaign Director with Critical Resistance. Lisa Marie is fiercely anti-capitalist and fights for a world where no cages, borders, or binaries determine how we treat one another.

Damien Luxe is an activist for sex workers' rights, femme empowerment and dreams sweet liberation magic.

Fatima Arain is a radical queer Pakistani femme youth worker originally from the Midwest, now residing in Seattle, WA. She envisions and works toward a world where her femme, and its intersections with her race and religion, is appreciated as an integral part of her resistance.

Blyth Barnow is a working class femme who believes that politics are personal. And not just in that who’s-gonna-wash-the-dishes kinda way. She has organized, performed, talked the talk and walked the walk.

Morgan Bassichis is a queer anti-racist organizer with Community United Against Violence and the Transgender, Gender Variant, and Intersex Justice Project in San Francisco, and loves the struggle to end all forms of violence!

Kai Barrow is a national organizer with Critical Resistance, an organization working to abolish the Prison-Industrial Complex.

Read Between the Lines: A Hands-On Guide to Sexy Sign Language (SSL)
Lillith Grey
Friday, 10:30 am – 11:45 am
This workshop will cover basic sign-language techniques and vocabulary from American Sign Language, with a focus on ways to use sign language to spice up your sex life. Sexy Sign Language can be used in a variety of ways – from bar flirting to cruising, from private conversations to private moments, this class will offer you a fresh and unique way to communicate with the people around you.

Lillith Grey is a queer femme currently living in the Dallas area. Part diva, part academic masochist, her favorite hobbies are hula-hooping, rounding up fresh leather, scalping fundamentalists, and spanking insolent pin-up girls. She spends her days roaming libraries and her nights running gloryholes, and is close to perfecting the art of stripping while playing the piano.

She is on the Advisory Council for the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, a non-profit organization that works to affirm sexual freedom as a fundamental human right. She is also an instructor in the Dallas Mentors’ Training Program, and presents educational workshops on a variety of topics, including research, personality, sign language, and multicultural/diversity issues at a variety of events and conferences. She was Gulf Coast Leather Woman 2008, and was recently honored as the National Leather Association - International "Woman of the Year". Lillith owns and runs Gloryhole Producations (www.GirlsGoneGloryhole.com) and Sex in Power (www.SexInPower.com), and can be contacted through www.LillithGrey.com.

Red Hots Burlesque School of Shimmy
Dottie Lux
Friday, 1:15 pm – 2:30 pm
Calling all divas, cool cats, harlots, dames hot mamas and daddy-o's, RED HOTS BURLESQUE SCHOOL OF SHIMMY is for you! If you have always dreamed of being a burlesque star or just want to learn what all this fun is all about you too can be Red Hot! Burlesque is about having fun! Bring a smile and an open mind, because we’re going to let loose as you learn to shake it with confidence and class!

Just like The City By The Bay, Dottie is known for her dizzying hills and dangerous curves. Well, hello San Francisco! She's here and producing SF's only weekly burlesque show, RED HOTS BURLESQUE, now in their 3rd year at El Rio. Hailing from New York City, where she's known to cause a ruckus with a horn, shake it up and bring bawdy brouhaha to well known stages like Coney Island Side Show, The Supper Club and Bowery Poetry Club. Also an educator , she has performed and lectured at NYU and Bard University and her famed School of Shimmy has been seen in The New York Times and Curve Magazine. Bump and Grind your way to an amped self view.

Resisting the Global Baby Trade: Queerean Femme Takeover
So Yung Kim
Saturday, 4:15 pm – 5:30 pm
Examining the racial, economic, and (homo)sexual politics of adoption and explore strategies for transformation and resistance. A space for adopted queers of color to connect, be ungrateful and build community.

So Yung Kim is a queer adoptee of color whose writing and activism focus on exposing the racism and imperialism inherent in the transracial adoption industry. A co-conspirator behind Transracial Abductees, one of the first websites by and for critical transracial adoptees, she now blogs at Outlandish Remarks on wordpress.

Self-Identification Begins in the Womb
Queen Hollins
Sunday, 2:45pm-4:00pm

For the last 28 + yrs Queen Hollins has been a Global Community Spiritual Activist/
Shawoman. Long before she remembered what her purpose was in life she was doing it. Her collective journey as a practitioner of universal/indigenous spiritual practices, including Mamahood, teaching, Kundalini yoga, West African dance, Elemental based Ritual and ceremony, Founder of Ancestors Daughters a Women and Girls Rites of Passage, Youth Mentoring Connection, Spiritual Counselor and Ritualist for Unitybridges.org ,Creating Sacred Spaces, Ceremonial Crafting, Founder of Earth Pit Ceremonies (return to the womb journey), Co-founder of BLU (Blacklesbiansunited.org), Initiated in Ifa, Sacred Sweat lodge, Mahikari, Poetry, Creative Writing and more… has allowed her to cultivate her ability and technique to hold Woman’s Sacred Circle rituals/ceremonies by which through the mindful implementation of inviting spirit(s) in such a way participants are able to transcend lineages of pain and non-productive behavior patterns and walk away renewed and with new tools for self-care and
wholeness.

Singing as Social Justice
Nomy Lamm
Friday, 2:45pm - 5:30 pm

The voice is a powerful tool in defending ourselves, voicing our truths, and sharing our essence of being with the world. In this workshop we will create a non-judgmental space to explore our voices in authentic ways. With a series of breathing exercises, vocal warm-ups and improvisations, we will learn to be more grounded in our bodies, self-aware, brave, flexible and connected to our surroundings. We will explore how these qualities can help us deal with our own oppression, and help us to be good allies to each other. Open to all styles and abilities.

Starting the Revolution from Within: How to Use Meditation to Heal and Fuck Shit Up!
Meliza Bañales
Saturday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am

The strongest muscle a Femme has is her spiritual one. In this workshop, we will explore how to use the healing practice of meditation to further our activist and creative selves. For many of us, life can be a mix of absolute joy and progression combined with uncontrollable stress and complete break-down. We even come to these amazing conferences to party and connect and by day two, find ourselves exhausted, overwhelmed, and needing a vacation from our vacation. What we forget in our busy-ness and urgency is the simplest act of all: breathing. The breath is an amazing source of healing and rejuvenation that needs nothing more than your willingness and open mind and heart. In this workshop we will participate in a guided meditation for a bit, talk for a bit, and learn methods that we can institute in our daily lives to further our commitment to revolution and our creative selves. This workshop is open to everyone, regardless of religious beliefs or faith and is designed to benefit beginners and experienced practitioners. It is also okay to only come for the sit (meditation) and not stay for the talk (though, of course, you are encouraged to!). Give yourself an extra boost to keep your bad-ass self going! In the words of Ajhan Cha, “If you have time to breathe, you have time to meditate."

Meliza Bañales aka Missy Fuego writes books, sews clothes, and makes movies. She has toured with Sister Spit: The Next Generation and Body Heat: The Femme Porn Tour. Her two most recent films are Do the Math with Mary Guzman and Getting Off with J Aguilar, and she is currently on crew for the feature film Mother Country by Maria Breaux. She has been featured in the documentary FTF: Female to Femme and the photo book Femmes of Power. She is currently working on a spoken-word album with Crunks Not Dead Records and another collection of short stories, Life Is Wonderful, People Are Terrific. She makes art in San Francisco.

Sexual (R)Evolution: Exploring the Interconnectedness of Race, Sex, Violence and Pleasure for Queer Women of Color
Amy Saucier, Mayra Mendoza
Sunday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
At this workshop we will be coming up with creative solutions to violence against lesbian women of color by working toward a conscious active community response to this type of violence. By refusing to tolerate or be complacent in our discussion or response to sexual violence and promoting sexual empowerment we are resisting the silence and perpetuation of unhealthy sexual communication. In this workshop we will encourage participants to engage in dialogues about sexuality in an effort to promote community response to sexual violence against lesbian women of color. We will help promote the sexual, physical and emotional health of the people in our communities by empowering individuals to reflect on their personal experiences and assisting community members in developing the tools and skills needed to promote holistic sexual well-being.

Amy Saucier is a queer woman of color mental health consumer, advocate, and clinician originally from Chicago. She brings to her work as a social worker, five years of experience working with children and families involved with Child Protective Services in both San Francisco and Alameda County Family Preservation Programs. Amy’s training includes culturally sensitive therapy, in-home family therapy, human sexuality, and working with dual diagnosis populations. Amy is specializing in working with women of color and with issues related to gender fluidity, sexuality, sexual trauma, and sexual orientation. Amy has presented workshops on human sexuality and transformative/restorative justice responses to violence at the Critical Resistance-10 conference (2008), Queer People Of Color conference (2009), and the Queer Asian conference (2010).

Mayra Mendoza is a queer ally from East Oakland. An all around peer educator, Mayra spends her time spreading the word about political issues, sexual health, and legal resources. She is also studying identity politics in international relations at San Francisco State and works on issues related to Indigenous Peoples’ rights through the International Indian Treaty Council.

Strap-On Satisfaction: A Femme's Guide to Giving and Receiving Pleasure
Greta Carey
Sunday, 11:15 am – 12:30 pm
This workshop will explore tools of the trade (finding a harness built for you, in search of the perfect dildo... to suit your mood, and lube, glorious lube), switching things up (fabulous foreplay; giving, receiving and sharing - strap-on play where everyone wins; exploring anal), and building sexual confidence and asking for what you want. This workshop is intended for people from all levels of experience. All discussion and materials will be presented in a safe, sex-positive and body friendly manner. The facilitator is a queer, plus size-femme domme, burlesque performer, writer, former sex-worker and professional marketer, with a primary intention in this workshop of sexual education and exploration.

Greta Carey is a rainbow of flavors rolled into one big, juicy, kinky, amazon hellcat. A native New Yorker who's transplanted to the Bay Area via Music City, USA, she’s spent this wonderful life exploring, celebrating, working in and writing about the sexual panorama. Curently, Greta is happily working for Babeland, finding sex toys and spreadsheets equally thrilling, filling out her vintage porn collection and exploring the many wonders of Northern California.

Talk Back! Responding to Anti-Femme and Anti-Butch Comments Within LGBTQ Communities
Paige Kruza, Sophia Lanza-Weil
Saturday, 9:00 am – 10:15 am
The workshop will focus in on what we want people to know about femmes and butches, and will share tools for confronting anti-femme/anti-butch biases in ways that will help end the criticism/opposition and create space for community-building.

Sophia Lanza-Weil is a queer femme with rough edges, happily identified as an old-school, working class and feminist femme. She is committed to anti-oppression work in activism and communities, and currently works as a union organizer. She has been involved with various queer and trans groups across the country; and has also worked with HIV/AIDS advocacy and education, youth sexual health advocacy, and immigrant, worker and women’s rights groups in the US and in Mexico. Sophia adores high-heeled boots, motorcycles, books and traveling.

Paige Kruza is a white queer stonebutch woman and proud New Englander. Currently the Development Manager at the Transgender Law Center, she has previously done a variety of public health, organizing, and fundraising work. She spends her free time adoring her dog and cat, appreciating Bay Area people (and weather), and supporting local organizations that do anti-violence, racial justice, and economic justice work.

TechFemme: Femme Blogging & Social Media
Aja Jones Aguirre
Saturday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
Network, share resources, ins + outs of the queer blogging scene, discover new blogs and expand your readership, the pros and cons of advertising on your website or blog, etc.

Aja Jones Aguirre is a born and raised San Francisco femme, feminist, wife and mother. She gives the world a cheeky peek into one lesbian's closet at Fit For A Femme, a Lezzy Award-nominated fashion and style blog over two years running, with semi-regular appearances from her butch better half. Notable femme acts include volunteering for IMPACT Bay Area Self-Defense, a deliciously sordid past deejaying at lesbian and queer parties like Catfight, Hot Pants and Shadowplay, including the popular Shadowplay stage at SF Pride, fighting violence against women with the Purple Berets, surviving natural childbirth, a one-time appearance in Curve Magazine, an established non-fear of public speaking, and being happily, legally wed.

Texas Rose Country Western Dance
Chiara Manodori
Friday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
Country two-stepping workshop.

Chiara Manodori has been dancing for 27 years and graduated with a major in dance from the San Francisco School of the Arts. She studied music for 15 years and discovered partner dancing after college. She has taught two stepping, children's dance classes, and west coast swing dance classes. Chiara is a certified yoga teacher and a licensed psychotherpist. She has participated in many styles of dance including jazz, modern contemporary dance, Duncan dance, folk dancing, American Contra, and country Western dance. She is on the board of directors at Sundance Association and is a regular host of the women's social party at Sundance's yearly San Francisco Stompede. She currently organizes and Dj's for Texas Rose, a monthly women's country western dance in Oakland.

Haley Ausserer has been two-stepping since 2005, when she learned the basics in Toronto before moving back to California in 2007. She has the good fortune to live in the Bay Area, where country-western dance opportunities abound. A tried and true country music lover, she has worked at both the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum and Country Music Television (CMT), and is currently employed at roots music label Arhoolie Records. Her video Letters to Dolly screened at the Femme2006 conference.

Tips for a World-Class Marriage / Relationship
Molly McKay, Davina Kotulski
Sunday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
Everyone has what it takes to create a world class marriage. The truth is that great marriages are made, not born. But many of us don't know how to find that right relationship or how to make the one that they have even better. Davina and Molly, a butch/femme couple, together for 14 years and who have married each other countless times on the road to securing civil marriage for same-sex couples, provide insights, tools and practical steps to reach new levels of intimacy, understanding and vitality to ensure that we not only can legally marry but live our happily ever afters together.

Since, 1998, Molly McKay and Davina Kotuski have been active together in the fight to secure marriage equality for same-sex couples through grassroots organizing. Molly, an attorney, is currently the National Media Director of Marriage Equality USA®. Davina, a psychologist, is the former Executive Director of Marriage Equality USA and authors of the books Why You Should Give a Damn About Gay Marriage (2004) and Love Warriors: The Rise of the Marriage Equality Movement and Why We Will Prevail (2010). Molly and Davina co-founded the annual national marriage counter actions on Freedom to Marry Day in 2001 where same-sex couples request marriage licenses at their local marriage counters to render the discrimination visible and tell their stories of how they are harmed by the inability to marry. Molly and Davina were one of the first couples to be married in San Francisco in 2004 (later nullified by the California Supreme Court) and re-married on their 12th anniversary in September 2008.

As former Field Director for Equality California, Molly led the statewide field efforts responsible for passing the historic "Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act" through both the California Senate and Assembly in 2005 (this bill was later vetoed by Governor Schwarzenegger). She and Davina have received the Saints Alive Award from the Metropolitan Community Church, the Individual Community Service Award from Alice B Toklas Democratic Club and Harvey Milk Democratic Club and were Community Grand Marshals of the San Francisco Pride Parade in 2009. They are featured in the documentary films Pursuit of Equality, Freedom to Marry, We Can, We Will We Do and have appeared on CNN, Hardball, People Magazine, Time, Newsweek and hundreds of other media outlets as a marriage equality advocates.

Tough Girls: A Celebration of Tomboys, Rough Girls & Gender-Queer Femmes/The GenderFucked Femme
Meliza Banales, JAC Stringer
Sunday, 2:45 pm – 4:00 pm
What happens when you seem to fall in-between butch and femme? What happens when you have the looks of Jo from the Facts of Life, the swagger of Joan Jett, with the smile of Marilyn Monroe? What happens when you realize that instead of dance class and burlesque, you're more likely to get roughed up in a mosh pit or get caught wearing lacy panties under your Dickey work-pants? You get the kind of femme who might wear Doc Martins but never smears her lipstick and whose guitar and words are her weapons of self-empowerment just as much as her mascara. Award-winning writer, filmmaker, and punk-performance-artist Meliza Banales (aka Missy Fuego) curates this panel-performance, featuring four of the toughest chicks around, bad-ass girls who through rough edges, juvenile hall, rock n' roll, and a little geeky-ness have managed to carve out a space in femme identity.

Meliza Bañales aka Missy Fuego writes books, sews clothes, and makes movies. She has toured with Sister Spit: The Next Generation and Body Heat: The Femme Porn Tour. Her two most recent films are Do the Math with Mary Guzman and Getting Off with J Aguilar, and she is currently on crew for the feature film Mother Country by Maria Breaux. She has been featured in the documentary FTF: Female to Femme and the photo book Femmes of Power. She is currently working on a spoken-word album with Crunks Not Dead Records and another collection of short stories, Life Is Wonderful, People Are Terrific. She makes art in San Francisco.

JAC Stringer / JAC McFaggin' is a radical genderqueer-femme trans-activist born and raised in the Midwest. JAC is the founding director of The GenderQueer Coalition and The Queer Wellness Initiative, an original member of the internationally recognized drag troupe The Black Mondays, and is an avid queer blogger on MidwestGenderQueer.com. JAC's alter-ego, the genderfuckingly fabulous JAC McFaggin’, is a pleather and feather wearing euro-star who has performed across the country both as a solo performer and as a co-managing member of The Black Mondays. In addition to his activist work and performing, JAC is pursuing research in sexology and gender studies focusing on non-pathologized gender variance and GID reform, transgender and queer health access, and queer sexualities.

White Privilege
Meredith Fenton and Krista Smith
Sunday, 11:15 am – 12:30 pm
White folks have a unique role to play in resisting racism both within femme/LGBTQ communities and the world at large. Join us in a dialogue around privilege and allyship

Meredith Fenton is a long-time Bay Area activist, performer and fairy princess. By day, she is the Director of Communication Strategy at the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights, where she leverages media, communications and Web 2.0 for economic and racial justice social change. She performs drag and burlesque under the names Starr 69 and Corky St. Flair and has been a part of such beloved groups as Hogwarts Express: the Musical, Titland, The Transformers, Burlesque-Esque, and Sparkle Motion. Meredith worked as the National Program Director of COLAGE for over 7 years, has years of experience organizing with radical Jews, has presented a huge variety of workshops both locally and nationally, and has appeared in media outlets from the New York Times to the Advocate. She is an avid reader, an aspiring urban gardener, and a lover of musicals, cheese, glitter and Muppets.

Wild Geese: Femme Survivors Write
Jen Cross
Friday, 1:15 pm – 2:30 pm
“You do not have to be good […] you only have to let the soft animal of your body / love what it loves.” -- Mary Oliver / “Wild Geese” Writing is a way to discover and honor our resilience and our resistance – Gather with other femme-identified survivors of sexual trauma to create a space in which we struggle with and celebrate our complex selves, our survival strategies, and the ways in which our survivor selves intersect with our femme selves. Many of us who are survivors of sexual trauma feel fragmented or disjointed and have come to believe we must always live our lives this way. Transforming our language is one way we transform our lives; we can create new art and new beauty out of the difficult and complicated realities of our lives. Although the setting is a supportive one, this workshop is different from a therapy group, as the focus of the workshop itself will be on each person's writing. Also, even as we come together as survivors, we are never required to write any particular version of our “abuse story.” In this space, you have the opportunity to write as you feel called to write, no matter what the subject. You'll leave this workshop with: a renewed sense of yourself as resiliently creative, a rich body of new creative writing, feedback from your peers about what's already strong in your new writing, and connection with a new writing community. Open to folks of all writing abilities!

Jen Cross is a writer, perfomer, facilitator, and femme dyke incest survivor. Her writing appears in over thirty anthologies and periodicals, including Make/Shift, Nobody Passes, Visible: A Femmethology (Vol. 1), Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Women's Erotica 2007, and many more. She tours with the Body Heat Femme Porn Tour, for which she’s produced two chapbooks: unconsummated and pink and devastating. She’s featured at such Bay Area literary events as Femina Potens’ Sizzle, Writers With Drinks, the National Queer Arts Festival, Perverts Put Out, the Queer Open Mic, and LitQuake’s LitCrawl. Jen has facilitated sexuality and survivors writing workshops since 2002, and leads workshops at Writing Ourselves Whole in San Francisco and at colleges and organizations across the country. She received her MA in Transformative Language Arts from Goddard College, and is a certified facilitator of the Amherst Writers & Artists method. Visit writingourselveswhole.org to learn more!